Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Memorial Day BBQ
We had our lovely neighbors over for a BBQ on memorial day. I am so glad it did not rain. A good time was had by all. We got a slip and slide, the kids loved it. We also played some badminton and volleyball. The 4 adults against the 5 kids, and Mike running around. The adults won. I only got beaned in the head once. Here are some pics of the sliding fun.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Sometimes you gotta laugh...
When I got home from work yesterday, Maxine told me about a great comedian she saw on Comedy Central.
His name is Jo Koy and he is freaking hilarious!
The following clip is the part that, if I remember correctly, almost made her pee.
His name is Jo Koy and he is freaking hilarious!
The following clip is the part that, if I remember correctly, almost made her pee.
| Jokes.com | ||||
| Jo Koy | ||||
| ||||
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Greatest Band I Never Knew I Liked
Recently I took a shine to Shinedown. (funny, huh?)
As I looked for other songs of theirs that are any good, I have come across a TON of songs that I knew, and I loved, that I did not know were theirs. Apparently, I have been a fan for years.
As I looked for other songs of theirs that are any good, I have come across a TON of songs that I knew, and I loved, that I did not know were theirs. Apparently, I have been a fan for years.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
They finally found it...
Shocking news...
A brain trust finally came up with a cure for stupid.
For those that don't know, stupid is a terminal, and often hereditary, disease that affects millions of Americans.
Signs include:
-Talking out your ass
-Making a fool out of yourself regularly
-Thinking you are, in fact, not stupid (aka Denial)
-Chronic confusion (Often wondering what the hell is going on)
-Other symptoms as described by your friends. (They can often spot the signs you missed)
The cure is quite simple and only takes 5 steps.
1) Go to your local grocery or convenience store.
2) Buy a pack of gum. Ask for a bag.
3) Return home, place the gum on the counter.
4) Firmly affix the bag to your head.
5) Breathe Deeply.
In no time at all, you will be cured and the world will be a better place.
For those truly affected, you may require assistance. If anyone offers to assist, please advise them that they are probably affected as well.
For those that need it, a visual:
Have a great day!
A brain trust finally came up with a cure for stupid.
For those that don't know, stupid is a terminal, and often hereditary, disease that affects millions of Americans.
Signs include:
-Talking out your ass
-Making a fool out of yourself regularly
-Thinking you are, in fact, not stupid (aka Denial)
-Chronic confusion (Often wondering what the hell is going on)
-Other symptoms as described by your friends. (They can often spot the signs you missed)
The cure is quite simple and only takes 5 steps.
1) Go to your local grocery or convenience store.
2) Buy a pack of gum. Ask for a bag.
3) Return home, place the gum on the counter.
4) Firmly affix the bag to your head.
5) Breathe Deeply.
In no time at all, you will be cured and the world will be a better place.
For those truly affected, you may require assistance. If anyone offers to assist, please advise them that they are probably affected as well.
For those that need it, a visual:
Have a great day!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Kung Pow: Enter The Fist
My boys and I have a movie we love. I have never heard of anyone else that knows about it.
It is Kung Pow: Enter The Fist. It may be the funniest movie EVER!
Here are a couple of clips from Hulu. They are not the clips that I would have chosen but they are damn funny. We have many, many sayings around the house that come from this movie. I would strongly encourage EVERYONE, their dog, their momma, their aunt, their neighbor, and their third cousin's roommate's friend's gynecologist to watch it.
I couldn't resist (Audio from Kung Pow):
George Bush is Master Betty! - For more amazing video clips, click here
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGCaCB8ebTc
And, some quotes:
----------------------------------
Master Betty: Go get some snacks, perhaps a carbonated soda!
Ling: I hope they have Icees!
Chosen One: I have chosen the large tub.
Wimp Lo: My nipples look like Milk Duds!
Master Tang: I've got some yellow liquid for your popcorn, and it's non-dairy!
----------------------------------
Master Tang: [narrating] At that moment, the Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about iron claws... THEY HURT LIKE CRAP MAN.
----------------------------------
Wimp Lo: Take a close look. 'Cause I rule, baby.
Chosen One: And who do you rule, the large-dark-nipple people?
----------------------------------
Master Tang: [Master Tang walking and singing] Hmm, chicken go cluck-cluck, cow go moo. Piggy go oink-oink, how bout you? Wanna be an animal just like you.
[breaks off and looks around]
Henchman: [in bushes] Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Master Betty: Mmm, I'm just a birdie, too!
Master Tang: [resumes singing] Lemur go pff-pff, Ostrich go baah. Koala go
Master Tang: [makes clicking noises]
Master Tang: [spins to face Betty]
---------------------------------
Master Tang: Pay no attention to Wimp Lo, we purposely trained him wrong... as a joke
---------------------------------
Wimp Lo: Knock, knock. Who's there? Your butt that's about to be kicked!
---------------------------------
Master Betty: Well, I thought you looked familiar. Sorry, I didn't recognize you without crap in your pants!
---------------------------------
Chosen One: His powers are greater than mine.
Mu Shu Fasa: Yes, plus when you got hit with his iron claw you DID scream like a wussy.
---------------------------------
Master Tang: [singing] Oh, Taco Bell, Taco Bell, product placement with Taco Bell. Enchirito...
Students: [joining in singing] Nacho, Burrito...
---------------------------------
Ling: I'm a teeny tiny horny honey!
It is Kung Pow: Enter The Fist. It may be the funniest movie EVER!
Here are a couple of clips from Hulu. They are not the clips that I would have chosen but they are damn funny. We have many, many sayings around the house that come from this movie. I would strongly encourage EVERYONE, their dog, their momma, their aunt, their neighbor, and their third cousin's roommate's friend's gynecologist to watch it.
I couldn't resist (Audio from Kung Pow):
George Bush is Master Betty! - For more amazing video clips, click here
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGCaCB8ebTc
And, some quotes:
----------------------------------
Master Betty: Go get some snacks, perhaps a carbonated soda!
Ling: I hope they have Icees!
Chosen One: I have chosen the large tub.
Wimp Lo: My nipples look like Milk Duds!
Master Tang: I've got some yellow liquid for your popcorn, and it's non-dairy!
----------------------------------
Master Tang: [narrating] At that moment, the Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about iron claws... THEY HURT LIKE CRAP MAN.
----------------------------------
Wimp Lo: Take a close look. 'Cause I rule, baby.
Chosen One: And who do you rule, the large-dark-nipple people?
----------------------------------
Master Tang: [Master Tang walking and singing] Hmm, chicken go cluck-cluck, cow go moo. Piggy go oink-oink, how bout you? Wanna be an animal just like you.
[breaks off and looks around]
Henchman: [in bushes] Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Master Betty: Mmm, I'm just a birdie, too!
Master Tang: [resumes singing] Lemur go pff-pff, Ostrich go baah. Koala go
Master Tang: [makes clicking noises]
Master Tang: [spins to face Betty]
---------------------------------
Master Tang: Pay no attention to Wimp Lo, we purposely trained him wrong... as a joke
---------------------------------
Wimp Lo: Knock, knock. Who's there? Your butt that's about to be kicked!
---------------------------------
Master Betty: Well, I thought you looked familiar. Sorry, I didn't recognize you without crap in your pants!
---------------------------------
Chosen One: His powers are greater than mine.
Mu Shu Fasa: Yes, plus when you got hit with his iron claw you DID scream like a wussy.
---------------------------------
Master Tang: [singing] Oh, Taco Bell, Taco Bell, product placement with Taco Bell. Enchirito...
Students: [joining in singing] Nacho, Burrito...
---------------------------------
Ling: I'm a teeny tiny horny honey!
Happy Hallmark Holiday!
To all the mothers and mother-effers out there....
Happy day! I think it is fairly common knowledge that I am not a huge fan of Mother's Day. (Or Valentine's Day, or Halloween, or any other contrived holiday that was created to sell cards, candy, and mindless bs.)
But that really isn't the point. I celebrate Maxine every day as the mother of my children. (and my best friend, and my reason for living, etc) I think that is good enough. And since she made me swear not to buy her anything, it all fits together nicely. I was bored this morning and, as I often do, was browsing YouTube.
Here are a few commemorative videos for your viewing pleasure:
(some are kind of lame but there are a couple goodies out there and they all have at least *some* redeeming qualities)
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSvsQr8FKUg
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLvQPI2DWT8
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAxfh8ukosQ
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUOt2wcNdQc
This one was pointed out to me by Ted. Thanks brutha! I still think its hilarious!
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU
On a side note, I did a google search for "I Hate Mothers Day" (I was hoping there would be something funny) and the fourth search result was this. I still haven't stopped laughing. That one article really sums up the christian spirit, doesn't it? Bah, you can keep it. I will stick to my universal principles.
Have a great day! Star Trek in T-Minus 3 Hours and counting.....
Happy day! I think it is fairly common knowledge that I am not a huge fan of Mother's Day. (Or Valentine's Day, or Halloween, or any other contrived holiday that was created to sell cards, candy, and mindless bs.)
But that really isn't the point. I celebrate Maxine every day as the mother of my children. (and my best friend, and my reason for living, etc) I think that is good enough. And since she made me swear not to buy her anything, it all fits together nicely. I was bored this morning and, as I often do, was browsing YouTube.
Here are a few commemorative videos for your viewing pleasure:
(some are kind of lame but there are a couple goodies out there and they all have at least *some* redeeming qualities)
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSvsQr8FKUg
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLvQPI2DWT8
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAxfh8ukosQ
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUOt2wcNdQc
This one was pointed out to me by Ted. Thanks brutha! I still think its hilarious!
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU
On a side note, I did a google search for "I Hate Mothers Day" (I was hoping there would be something funny) and the fourth search result was this. I still haven't stopped laughing. That one article really sums up the christian spirit, doesn't it? Bah, you can keep it. I will stick to my universal principles.
Have a great day! Star Trek in T-Minus 3 Hours and counting.....
Saturday, May 9, 2009
The Aftermath....
Today was the Susan Komen Race for the Cure...
One final thank you to everyone that supported me. I didn't train. I struggled horribly. But I finished.
It was a morning for a good cause, spent with good friends, in a super positive atmosphere.
Here is a pic of me doing my best fruit loop pose.
And, of course, here is one of the entire Qqest Posse.
One final thank you to everyone that supported me. I didn't train. I struggled horribly. But I finished.
It was a morning for a good cause, spent with good friends, in a super positive atmosphere.
Here is a pic of me doing my best fruit loop pose.
And, of course, here is one of the entire Qqest Posse.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
A Few Randomocities
THE BIG RACE is tomorrow. (Or tomarrow depending on who you are.) Thank you to everyone that offered their support. (Both morally and financially. Each is equally as important.) I am super excited and I think it will be a lot of fun.
Hopefully Maxine's uber ick toe will be strong enough that she can participate. We took the bandaging off last night and it is still really tender. We will try getting a shoe on it tonight and walking around a bit to see how it goes. We were going to post pictures but once it was soaked and the crustyness was removed it wasn't really all that gross looking.
In other news, Star Trek opens today. I am almost a quivering mass of goo anticipating the joy that is Star Trek but I am putting on a strong face so I do not scare animals and small children. (Yes you, Corbin...although I guess you aren't that small anymore.)
And now, for something completely different...
You know I love the guys over at Mediocre Films. They are hella funny and posted another gem.
Today's video is brought to you by the letter "C", the number 12, and Tuesday. No, not this Tuesday, next Tuesday.
See you then.
When?
Next Tuesday.
What?
I SAID SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY!
Or you could treasure Andrew's current favorite joke.
We were outside tossing a football last night and he said; "Hey Dad, say I, spell cup, and then say pretty colors!"
You just did it, didn't you. Andrew is laughing in his head although he isn't even awake yet.
Yep. My kids are better than yours.
Have a great day!
Hopefully Maxine's uber ick toe will be strong enough that she can participate. We took the bandaging off last night and it is still really tender. We will try getting a shoe on it tonight and walking around a bit to see how it goes. We were going to post pictures but once it was soaked and the crustyness was removed it wasn't really all that gross looking.
In other news, Star Trek opens today. I am almost a quivering mass of goo anticipating the joy that is Star Trek but I am putting on a strong face so I do not scare animals and small children. (Yes you, Corbin...although I guess you aren't that small anymore.)
And now, for something completely different...
You know I love the guys over at Mediocre Films. They are hella funny and posted another gem.
Today's video is brought to you by the letter "C", the number 12, and Tuesday. No, not this Tuesday, next Tuesday.
See you then.
When?
Next Tuesday.
What?
I SAID SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY!
Or you could treasure Andrew's current favorite joke.
We were outside tossing a football last night and he said; "Hey Dad, say I, spell cup, and then say pretty colors!"
You just did it, didn't you. Andrew is laughing in his head although he isn't even awake yet.
Yep. My kids are better than yours.
Have a great day!
A new lease on life
Lately I have found myself growing increasingly cynical.
I like to think that it stems from the fact that most people are assholes. You know who you are.
Then, I thought, WWBD? (What would Buddha do?) That is not nearly as creative as AYHSMB, but it is more pleasant.
I talk a lot of crap about people. Maybe not a lot by your standards but a lot by mine. I am going to work on it.
Oh, and I figured out a way to put YouTube videos on my sidebar. Now showing, the GREATEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER MADE!!!!!!!
Here it is embedded as well:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoKFBjd5-F8
I like to think that it stems from the fact that most people are assholes. You know who you are.
Then, I thought, WWBD? (What would Buddha do?) That is not nearly as creative as AYHSMB, but it is more pleasant.
I talk a lot of crap about people. Maybe not a lot by your standards but a lot by mine. I am going to work on it.
Oh, and I figured out a way to put YouTube videos on my sidebar. Now showing, the GREATEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER MADE!!!!!!!
Here it is embedded as well:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XoKFBjd5-F8
Saturday, May 2, 2009
When I move you move.....just like that...
Awwwww yeah! Today was Scout-A-Rama. Andrew and I were asked to help at our pack's booth for a couple of hours. Jeff, Andrew, and I went early to party hard with the other scouts.
I had a blast hanging out with the two coolest guys I know. We saw so many things and so many people it is hard for me to describe specifics.
Our pack's booth was a shorter version of the Space Derby that we did a few months ago. My favorite part of the ENTIRE Scout-A-Rama was the time I got to spend with the scouts and their families running space derby races.
They say these types of events are for the scouts but I think I got as much out of it as Andrew did.
It was a good time. If you didn't make it out this year, try next year. I am sure we will sell you a ticket. There were events and booths that would appeal to anyone in the family.
Good times!
I had a blast hanging out with the two coolest guys I know. We saw so many things and so many people it is hard for me to describe specifics.
Our pack's booth was a shorter version of the Space Derby that we did a few months ago. My favorite part of the ENTIRE Scout-A-Rama was the time I got to spend with the scouts and their families running space derby races.
They say these types of events are for the scouts but I think I got as much out of it as Andrew did.
It was a good time. If you didn't make it out this year, try next year. I am sure we will sell you a ticket. There were events and booths that would appeal to anyone in the family.
Good times!
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