Every once in a while I hope to post something useful, meaningful, or at least not complete BS.
This...is...not...that....day.
httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZX3aheU0qis
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Friday, December 19, 2008
Do NOT Eat Christmas Cookies This Year...
Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill, and Billy come stay with her over Christmas. And every Christmas Eve they would make a big bowl of cookie dough so they could make cookies on Christmas Day. And every time, the next morning the cookie dough would be gone. The grandma could never catch them, so this year she put metal bb's in the cookie dough. The next morning, the cookie dough was gone and soon Suzy came running downstairs.
''Grandma, I went to the bathroom to pee and bb's came out.''
"Suzy," Grandma said. "I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." Then Jill came down and said ''Grandma, I went poo and there were bb's in it.''
"Jill, I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." About five minutes later little Billy came.
''Grandma something terrible has happened, I was jerking off in the garage and I shot the cat!''
''Grandma, I went to the bathroom to pee and bb's came out.''
"Suzy," Grandma said. "I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." Then Jill came down and said ''Grandma, I went poo and there were bb's in it.''
"Jill, I know you've been eating cookie dough. Sit down." About five minutes later little Billy came.
''Grandma something terrible has happened, I was jerking off in the garage and I shot the cat!''
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Christmas Videos that makes me giggles...
Nothing to say but HAHAHAHAHAHA
EMO Christmas (Song) - watch more funny videos
Thug Christmas - watch more funny videos
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Christmas is coming
I am starting to get excited for Christmas!!!! (Finally)
Here is a little cheer for you!
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MwdEzYkT8c
Here is a little cheer for you!
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MwdEzYkT8c
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Tis the season
Cerra reminded me (via her blog) about ElfYourself.
And who says the Thompson men can't dance?
And in case you ever wonder what we do on Satrday night...
Have a great day!
And who says the Thompson men can't dance?
And in case you ever wonder what we do on Satrday night...
Have a great day!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Oh, me thinks you funny.
The guys over at LoadingReadyRun are damn funny.
I don't think I have ever posted one of their videos before because I don't know that their humor translates to general audiences. (Although it is clean for the most part)
They are currently doing a charity event. If you want to check out their website, check out their website.
Here is one of their videos...
And this one is too good to pass up.
I don't think I have ever posted one of their videos before because I don't know that their humor translates to general audiences. (Although it is clean for the most part)
They are currently doing a charity event. If you want to check out their website, check out their website.
Here is one of their videos...
And this one is too good to pass up.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
A meeting of the minds.
On of my earliest, and fondest, memories is of watching Star Trek with my dad as we ate dinner. (This is before he got married, so TV trays and dinner ala Star Trek were still ok)
In my "more adult" days, I have grown fond of Monty Python.
Imagine my glee when Wil Wheaton posted this wonderful YouTube video.
Mmmm, tasty.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luVjkTEIoJc
In my "more adult" days, I have grown fond of Monty Python.
Imagine my glee when Wil Wheaton posted this wonderful YouTube video.
Mmmm, tasty.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luVjkTEIoJc
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Things I am going to miss.
Like this:
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
Or how about this:
Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
Or maybe:
Q: What's George Bush's position on Roe v. Wade?
A: He really doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans.
And, of course, this:
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
The topper:
[caption id="attachment_83" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I wish I could write captions for the news."]
[/caption]
Have a good day everyone!
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed.
"How long did it take you?"
"Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years' but I did it in a month!"
Or how about this:
Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
Or maybe:
Q: What's George Bush's position on Roe v. Wade?
A: He really doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans.
And, of course, this:
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
The topper:
[caption id="attachment_83" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="I wish I could write captions for the news."]
[/caption]Have a good day everyone!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
When I Die...
So Maxine and I are sitting around talking, which is our favorite past time.
I came up with a great idea.
When I die, I want to be cremated.
Then, I want the urn buried in a hole.
My tombstone should read:
Here lies Mark,
The ash-hole.
Damn, I think that is sooo funny.
I came up with a great idea.
When I die, I want to be cremated.
Then, I want the urn buried in a hole.
My tombstone should read:
Here lies Mark,
The ash-hole.
Damn, I think that is sooo funny.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Oi! It's all about the poll!
[caption id="attachment_51" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Mommy sells snow shovels"]
[/caption]
Ok, I said poll, not pole.
Maxine and I will be posting polls occasionally on the sidebar. (Right hand side of the page)
Please participate! They are a silly diversion and are pretty pointless.
[/caption]Ok, I said poll, not pole.
Maxine and I will be posting polls occasionally on the sidebar. (Right hand side of the page)
Please participate! They are a silly diversion and are pretty pointless.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
The parade of joy tumbles headlong into the abyss...
Have you ever wondered why waffles need to have all those little squares?
And what makes them so much better than pancakes?
Some people think that the squares are designed to hold syrup and that is what makes them better.
That may be so. It sounds like a good theory to me.
It could also have something to do with the fact that there is more sugar in the batter.
But the real reason is all the cool stuff you can build with them.
Think about the movie 50 First Dates.
I planned to put up some really cool pictures of waffle creations but I couldn't find any. Blasted Google Images...you failed me.
Mega-bonus drooly points for anyone that finds some and posts them to the comments!
And what makes them so much better than pancakes?
Some people think that the squares are designed to hold syrup and that is what makes them better.
That may be so. It sounds like a good theory to me.
It could also have something to do with the fact that there is more sugar in the batter.
But the real reason is all the cool stuff you can build with them.
Think about the movie 50 First Dates.
I planned to put up some really cool pictures of waffle creations but I couldn't find any. Blasted Google Images...you failed me.
Mega-bonus drooly points for anyone that finds some and posts them to the comments!
Friday, October 24, 2008
14 Counts can't be wrong.
I haven't had much of a sense of humor lately. Hence, not a lot of posts.
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and most of them just aren't funny.
But today is Friday. At least we have that.
Here, nibble on this:
''''My God! What happened to you?'''' the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
''''I got in a tiff with Riley.''''
''''Riley? He''s just a wee fellow,'''' the barkeep said, surprised. ''''He must have had something in his hand.''''
''''That he did,'''' Kelly said. ''''A shovel it was.''''
''''Dear Lord. Didn''t you have anything in your hand?''''
''''Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley''s left boob.'''' Kelly said. ''''And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.''''
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately and most of them just aren't funny.
But today is Friday. At least we have that.
Here, nibble on this:
''''My God! What happened to you?'''' the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
''''I got in a tiff with Riley.''''
''''Riley? He''s just a wee fellow,'''' the barkeep said, surprised. ''''He must have had something in his hand.''''
''''That he did,'''' Kelly said. ''''A shovel it was.''''
''''Dear Lord. Didn''t you have anything in your hand?''''
''''Aye, that I did -- Mrs. Riley''s left boob.'''' Kelly said. ''''And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.''''
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