Music and Obsession

Pretty much all my life I have loved music.
I know that a lot of people love music but for me it is such an integral part of "me" that I can't separate music from thought. I cannot think of many times in my life that aren't, in some way, tied to music.

Sometimes I don't sleep.
On a good night I sleep, of course, for a few hours at a time but some nights I sleep only one or two. I try not to get up and wander the house and most nights I am successful. Others, not so much.

What do these things have in common?
A couple of things. First, since my soul is tied to music, I have the benefit of always having songs in my head. Laying in bed, listening to the music in my head is comforting. Second, when i get up in the middle of the night or early in the morning I come downstairs, throw on my headphones, and crank up music or music videos.

It is now 7:22 AM on a Saturday. Most people would be sleeping. Me? I've been out of bed for a little more than 2 hours listening to music videos on YouTube, MTV.com, and VEVO. (I try to never get out of bed before 5. Lately I've been pretty successful at falling back asleep around 4-4:30 and sleeping until 6:30 when I need to get up for work.)

This morning's playlist has been Kelly Clarkson, Shakira, and Beyonce. Who runs the world? (Girls, Girls!)

I don't really know if there is a point in all this but I think there is. It is a little insight into what makes me, well, me.

The title of this post is Music and Obsession. I am not obsessed with music. I love it. I am obsessed with Maxine.
The dictionary defines obsession as the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.
Society attaches a negative connotation to the word but it is, in itself, not a bad thing.
The thing about this is that they are both (Music and Maxine) inseparable in my head. Whenever I hear music, it is in my Maxine frame of reference. Either because the lyrics make me think about her, or because it is a type of music I would not have listened to before her influence, or because its something she likes to listen to, or because its something she doesn't like.

A couple of examples...

- Last night after I picked up Regin from Classic Skating, the Eagles, Best of My Love was playing on the radio. I, of course, was singing and getting misty thinking about my Maxine.

- Every time I listen to Metallica I think about how James Hetfield adds a little grunt to the end of every line he sings because she pointed it out to me.

- One of my favorite bands right now, a local group called The Suicycles, has a very 80's new wave sound that I never, in a million years, would have liked in my pre-Maxine days.

- Sometimes I listen to Jack Johnson. I don't care for his music but Maxine digs him and every time I hear his music it makes me smile because it makes her happy. Sometimes I listen to his music just to think about her. I don't think I've ever admitted that before.


Ok, well not it is 7:43 and Shakira is telling me she's a Gypsy. The banjo in this song makes me think of the Dixie Chicks so I think I am going to switch to them and then some Ricky Martin.

More later!